The Mill Creek Entertainment separate April 16, 2019 Blu-ray releases of the Andy Sidaris films "Malibu Express" (`1985) and "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" (1987) provide good chances to enjoy the entertaining pillow soft R-rated porn of this master of mainstream-friendly sleaze. Think "Porkys" with adult-film quality production values and acting. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Our current topic is "Malibu;" "Hawaii" literally is a subject for another day.
"Daniel Boone" television series star Darby Hinton strays far from that wholesome fare to play hard-bodied, hard-loving, and hard-fisted Texas trust-fund baby Cody Abilene. Think a younger, buffer, and cruder version of '80s TV detective/Magnum clone Matt Houston.
The film title relates to an ambiguous tribute to the deceased mother of Cody that he creates at the entrance to the yacht where he lives. His Higgins is a stuffed shirt official at the yacht club where the vessel is docked.
Although the new bimbos next door do not hesitate to come a knockin' for a gang shower on a rare occasion on which the boat of Abilene is not a rockin', his aptly named race-car driver friend June Khnockers does not make a booty call during the film.
The still-timely plot device of Russian spies using personal-computers in the United States for nefarious purposes in this pre-Internet era prompts "Higgins" to recruit Abilene for a game of Stud v. Spy.
The first stop on this this thrill-ride is a visit to seductive and liberated friend with extensive benefits Contessa Lucianna (Sybil Danning). Said perks include a needed introduction to Contessa friend Lady Lillian Chamberlain, who is the stereotypical matriarch of a stereotypical one-perecenter household. Her effeminate nephew is a not-very-well closeted homosexual; his beard does not let her marriage vows slow down her extra-marital activity. Studly chauffuer/blackmailer Shane separately gives each spouse the same thing that he or she needs.
The plot thickens on Shane getting murdered as apparent revenge for the blackmail. Of course, Abilene both gets on the case and discovers a tie between that crime and the Russian activities.
The investigation heating up provides plenty of chances for car chases, shoot-outs, and fisticuffs. The latter particularly demonstrates the pattern of Sidaris casting professional bodybuilders in his movies.
The best surprises and most fun come near the end of "Malibu." Abilene proves that he is more than a pretty face when he conducts a very SoCal version of the traditional drawing-room reveals at the end of classic murder mysteries. This aptly leads to an equally Eureka State variation of the hero riding off into the sunset.
The auteur himself provides both a introduction to "Malibu" and extensive gleeful insights in a behind-the-scenes featurette.