[Editor's Note: Delays in receiving review copies of traditional horror tales, which will be the subjects of future posts, requires wrapping up this series of Halloween-themed posts with a documentary on a subject that strikes fear in the heart of every adult male.]
Writing in the recent review of the (no debate) worst-show-ever "Dante's Cove" that that post would be the most penis-oriented entry on this PG site seems to have prompted the upcoming DVD release of the documentary "Unhung Hero" about standup comedian/actor Patrick Moote's search for information regarding perceptions related to the size of a man's sexual organ and methods to enhance that part of the body.
"Hero" hits actual and virtual store shelves on December 10, 2013.
Like the "Cove" post, any text that seems to be some form of penis-oriented pun most likely is even if not identified as such.
Readers who the concept of a film about a man's junk prompts to stop reading this review are encouraged to stick it out. The film includes good social commentary that this post covers.
As Moote states in "Unhung," his motive for the film stems from his girlfriend rejecting his marriage proposal that a Jumbotron (no pun intended) broadcast during a UCLA basketball game. He shares that said significant other told him that the reasons for penalizing (pun intended) him include that his penis is too small.
The following clip, courtesy of YouTube, of "Unhung's" trailer includes both the footage of the proposal and Moote's statement of his reasons for the project.
Before going further, Moote deserves acknowledgment for being an adorable when he smiles guy, for his awesome humor, and for having many other qualities to offer even if he does not measure up in certain areas. Finding someone who is so kind and sweet, not to mention being willing to follow one well-publicized humiliation with sharing very embarrassing personal information with the world for limited fame and profit, is rare.
The initial Moote point (of course pun intended) is to determine whether the extent to which his former girlfriend is accurate in criticizing the size of his penis. Although never directly divulged, "Unhung" strongly indicates that our hero has what he considers a "Fantastic Four" until learning that many people in this era are of the mindset that "eight is enough to fill our lives with love."
As "Unhung" states, the caveat to the conclusion that four inches is at the lower end of normal among the male population is based on a study that places men on the honor system regarding reporting the size of their manhood.
The strong possibility that some study participants exaggerate their endowment evokes thoughts of the joke from early in Roseanne's career in which she comments that men are better than women at reading maps because they relate to the concept of an inch equaling a mile. On a somewhat related personal note, the response of a high-school classmate on learning that, next to the nose, the penis is the most sensitive organ on the male body is that he does not realize that the penis is next to the nose.
The consideration of penis size in "Unhung" includes discussing the extent to which it matters; noted gay columnist Dan Savage arguably has the most insightful thoughts regarding this topic in commenting that prolonged expressed anxiety regarding this feature can be more bothersome than size itself.
A not very well kept secret is that virtually all men check out other guys to see how they compare and get an ego boost if they fall within the above-average range on the scale. A hilarious "Seinfeld" scene in which Kramer goads Jerry into admitting that he looks would have been an even better choice than the selected more famous "shrinkage" scene in "Unhung."
This subject also evokes thoughts of a hilarious scene from the uber-awesome 1989 film "Scenes From the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills." The exact context is a little fuzzy so many years later, but the memory is that a teen boy who has had sex with his father's trophy wife loudly and proudly announces during a large family gathering that according to said trophy wife "compared to my daddy, I'm hung like a rhino."
Moote then moves on to trying several techniques to move closer to the middle of the bell-end curve and to considering other enhancement techniques. Many of these are familiar to men of all endowments, and the more extreme ones from Korea, Taiwan, and Malaysia truly require turning away from the screen.
The promised discussion of "Unhung's" social commentary relates to the influence of wide-spread and readily available pornography on the Internet. The film aptly points out that those videos tend to use men who have more in common with donkeys than smaller animals and that those depictions affect the perceptions of sexual partners.
The related note this time is that "Unhung" also touches on the fact that intense anxiety related to a pocket pistol not packing much heat is a true first-world problem. Getting the job done does not require much, and the 99 percent who are not "one-percenters" truly have more to worry about than how much damage that they can inflict on an apple pie.